All of this is beginning to take a toll on me. Again.

Im letting my fingers slip off the edge more than I should. I'm playing with death, and its dangerous. I'm holding on by my pinky finger and it hurts and its taking all of my strength to hold on. But wouldn't it feel great to just let go? To relax, and let myself fall. It feels like letting go completely would be the best option here for everyone. All I want to do is run away. Go far far away where none of this would be a problem anymore. But I can't keep running away. I've done it too many times and it never works, anyway. Truthfully, I am the happier right now than I have been in a long time. But I am still just as miserable. I can't keep burdening people with this gray that sucks the color out of my life. Its no one elses job but mine. And since I can't handle it, and am not going to make the people I love do it for me, there seems to be only one clear option here. Crimson on cotton has always been a step in that direction. And I am scared and don't know what else to do.
I will probably never get up the guts to do this, even though it probably needs to be done, for everyone's sake.
Go tell your family and friends that you love them, because they could be gone tomorrow.
 

Tell me something, anything, anonymously. My formspring needs use.